May 12, 20235 min read

A different wedding - What new India is planning.

Updated: May 14, 2023

Story of Debarati and Sabyasachi.

There is a saying, "What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow". or we can also say, what young Indian thinks today rest of India will think tomorrow. India is a developing country by mind, heart and soul. This is a story about Debarati and Sabyasachi, from Kolkata. Debarati is from North Kolkata and Sabyasachi is from South Kolkata. Debarati is a research scholar studying psychology and on the other-hand Sabyasachi is an IT professional working in an MNC.

This story is about the journey of these two people and how they broke the normal standard norms of society not to hurt anyone but to spread the love and warmth of hospitality on the occasion of their marriage ceremony.

A Bengali wedding is a celebration of love, culture and community. It is a time when families and friends come together to bless the bride and groom, share their joy and participate in various ceremonies that reflect Bengal's rich heritage and traditions. A Bengali wedding is not just about rituals, but also about the emotions, the laughter, the music and the food that make it a memorable occasion.

One of the most important aspects of a Bengali wedding is the bond between the two families. The wedding is not only a union of two individuals but also of two clans, who exchange gifts, greetings and respect throughout the process. The families of the bride and groom visit each other's homes, offer blessings and presents, and host lavish feasts for the guests. The wedding is also a time to honour the elders, who play a vital role in the upbringing and guidance of the couple.

Another key element of a Bengali wedding is the involvement of the friends and relatives of the bride and groom. They are not just spectators, but active participants in the ceremonies, adding fun, colour and excitement to the proceedings. They help prepare, accompany the bride and groom to the venues, sing, dance and play games, and tease and pamper the couple. They also act as mediators, negotiators and messengers between the two families, ensuring everything goes smoothly and harmoniously.

A Bengali wedding is also a showcase of the artistic and creative talents of the people. From the intricate designs of the alpana (rice paste art) on the floor, to the elaborate decorations of the mandap (wedding canopy), to the exquisite jewellery and attire of the bride and groom, to the melodious songs and recitations of the shubho drishti (auspicious sight) and the saat paak (seven rounds), to the mouth-watering delicacies, a Bengali wedding is a feast for the senses. It is a reflection of the beauty, elegance and diversity of the Bengali culture.

A Bengali wedding is a joyous occasion that brings people closer and creates lasting memories. It is a celebration of life, love and happiness. It is a celebration of being Bengali.

Bengali weddings are known for their rich and vibrant traditions that reflect the culture and heritage of Bengal. However, like everything else, Bengali weddings have also undergone many changes over time, adapting to the modern lifestyle and preferences of the people.

In the past, as we know, Bengali weddings were mostly arranged by the parents or relatives of the bride and groom, who would consult astrologers, match horoscopes and visit each other's homes to finalize the date and details of the wedding. Nowadays, many Bengali couples prefer to choose their own partners, either through online platforms, social circles or mutual friends. They may also opt for a courtship period before getting married, to get to know each other better.

Bengali weddings used to be long and elaborate causes, and affairs, spanning over several days and involving many rituals and customs. Some of the common ceremonies were Adan Pradan (date fixation), Ashirbaad (blessing), Aiburo Bhaat (last meal as a bachelor/bachelorette), Gaye Holud (turmeric ceremony), Dodhi Mangal (pre-dawn rituals), Bor Jatri (groom's procession), Bor Boron (groom's welcome), Potto Bastra (groom's attire), Saat Paak (seven rounds), Mala Badal (exchange of garlands), Shubho Drishti (auspicious sight), Sampradan (handing over the bride), Yagna (sacred fire), Sindoor Daan (vermillion application), Surya Pronam (sun salutation), Bashi Biye (post-wedding rituals), Bidaay (farewell), Bou Baran (bride's welcome), Bou Bhaat (bride's first meal), Phool Shojja (flower bed) and Oshtomongola (eighth-day rituals). However, due to the busy work-life of people, many Bengali weddings are now shortened and simplified, with only the essential ceremonies being performed. Some of the traditions have also been modified or discontinued to suit the convenience and comfort of the couple and the guests.

Bengali brides and grooms used to wear traditional outfits and accessories for their wedding, such as the red and white saree, the conch shell bangles, the alta (red dye) on the feet, the mukut (crown), the topor (headgear), the dhoti and the kurta. However, with the influence of fashion and trends, many Bengali brides and grooms now opt for more contemporary and stylish outfits and accessories, such as the lehenga, the gown, the sherwani, the suit, the diamond jewellery, the mehendi, the makeup and the hairstyle. They may also choose different colours and fabrics for their attire, depending on their taste and the theme of the wedding.

Bengali weddings used to be accompanied by traditional music and entertainment, such as the shehnai, the dhol, the kirtan, the baul, the jatra, the pala gaan, the kobigaan and the chhau. These forms of music and entertainment added to the festive mood and the cultural essence of the wedding. However, with the advent of technology and media, many Bengali weddings now feature more modern and popular forms of music and entertainment, such as the DJ, the band, the karaoke, the dance, the games, the photo booth and the video. These forms of music and entertainment cater to the diverse and dynamic tastes and preferences of the people.

Bengali weddings have changed in many ways, but they have not lost their charm and significance. They are still a celebration of love, culture and community, and they still bring people closer and create lasting memories. They are still a celebration of being Bengali.

Our lovely couple, Debarati and Sabyasachi are among those youngsters who have also chosen the new path to define a new wedding style in Bengal. Here the reason or the story is little different too. These two beautiful hearts are amongst those rare new-age people who still believe in human values along with cultural norms. They did the rituals but there was no priest. In fact, the warmth and love of this couple did the job of the priest conveying the values of humanity to eternity. They rose above the man-made boundaries of rites, class, religion and orthodoxy and showed a path where there is only love and nothing else.